Thursday, November 19, 2015
I cannot believe that it's been almost a year since I last posted here. A lot has happened in 12 months. I got through Thanksgiving without having a hissy fit over "HER" insinuating herself into my holiday. We had Christmas with my family, which was tempered due to a family member being in jail as a result of his addict actions. We had a quiet New Years Eve and hoped for a great coming year. In February my husband left his private sector job to go back to the State and in March he got diagnosed with a recurrence of the colorectal cancer he first had at 23 years old. Since then, it's been pre-surgical chemo and radiation, a GIANT surgery that left him with 2 ostomies, and now more chemo. The chemo lasts 6 months, with treatment every other week. It's surprising who has been there for us and who has not. Those not very close friends who have checked in at least every few days have been wonderful. Most family hasn't bothered to contact us but once or twice, even when we were close to home for 3 weeks with the pre-surgical treatment, and more than 2 weeks in the hospital. It's changed my perspective on where to put my efforts and expectations. Although I still realize that the less you expect the less disappointed you'll be. Through all of this, I can't help but think that perhaps it has been a blessing that hubs didn't agree to try to have any children. Life is so hard right now, since I have to take care of all of the house chores, cooking, cleaning, pets, yard, etc. I can't even imagine how hard it would be if I had a child or children under foot. I will always regret not having them, but I guess the universe has a way of working things out. Hmm. Heavy stuff.