Thursday, November 13, 2014
Life is hard
Tuesday I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life: to say goodbye to one of my kitties, who has been with me for more than 17 years. The aggressiveness of the cancer made it impossible to ignore and even with his pain medication, he was visibly uncomfortable. Words cannot begin to express how profoundly I will and do miss him. This of course is on top of the never ending saga with my nephew. My family, in the name of love and support, continue to enable, pacify and support him, even through the horrible thing he has done and put us through. In reality, the fact that they continue to shield him from having to live with all the consequences of his actions will not help him, and continues to hurt them. But they refuse to see that. As for me, I have grieved the loss of who he could have been, but am still angry for what he has put my family through.I want nothing to do with him. I will try hard to put up some emotional boundaries so that my family's continued feeding into his trainwreck of a life will not ruin my life along with theirs. I have and continue to grieve the child(ren) I never had. And now I must grieve the loss of my 4-legged child. Life can be so hard.