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Friday, November 21, 2014

awe... AGAIN!?!

I've written about this before , and well... here we go again. My husband's ex has announced that she's comjng to Thanksgiving again this year. To say I'm pissed is an understatement. She has apparently just reconciled with her husband, yet will be spending th e holiday with her EX husband's family. I don't even know if she's bringing him with her... but I got the impression she's not. I mean, it's not just me, right? That is screwed up, isn't it?

Monday, November 17, 2014

Is it just me?

Maybe I'm just over sensitive. Or maybe people are just too busy with their own lives. Or maybe it's because I don't live near my family. But when I was growing up, if you were sick or had surgery or lost a family member, family and friends would rally. They would call, come by, send cards, bring food or flowers. They would check in to see what you needed after the fact. They would let you know they cared and were thinking of you. This is something I still make an effort to do. And yet it seems less and less others do so. Sure, people say let me know if you need anything. Some call and some send a card, but then they disappear... Back to their normal lives, I suppose. Not that I blame them. And of course this isn't everyone. It just seems different somehow; like we're less connected. Or is it just me?

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Life is hard

Tuesday I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life: to say goodbye to one of my kitties, who has been with me for more than 17 years. The aggressiveness of the cancer made it impossible to ignore and even with his pain medication, he was visibly uncomfortable. Words cannot begin to express how profoundly I will and do miss him. This of course is on top of the never ending saga with my nephew. My family, in the name of love and support, continue to enable, pacify and support him, even through the horrible thing he has done and put us through. In reality, the fact that they continue to shield him from having to live with all the consequences of his actions will not help him, and continues to hurt them. But they refuse to see that. As for me, I have grieved the loss of who he could have been, but am still angry for what he has put my family through.I want nothing to do with him. I will try hard to put up some emotional boundaries so that my family's continued feeding into his trainwreck of a life will not ruin my life along with theirs. I have and continue to grieve the child(ren) I never had. And now I must grieve the loss of my 4-legged child. Life can be so hard.