Wednesday, April 16, 2014
My bits have been playing tricks on me!
As I mentioned in my last post, I've been making plans and getting ready for the thing I have fought for so long... a hysterectomy. While I do have some physical chores to do, like cleaning the house and making some meals to freeze, mostly I've been trying to steel myself emotionally for what's ahead. I don't know if that's actually even possible! Oddly, it seemed like my body was playing tricks on me! Let me explain: after nearly a year of thinking, talking, making up my mind, .uuuichanging it and making it again, I went ahead and scheduled the surgery. This was a huge step. Then, as expected, here came my period. What was strange about this time, though, is that it wasn't that bad. There was pain, just not crippling; and almost no pain with nookie! Well, of course you know what happened next: I was FILLED with self-doubt about whether I made the right decision. "This isn't so bad." "Maybe I don't really NEED surgery." "Have I made the wrong decision?" "Maybe the doctors were wrong!" This went on for two months. And then the other shoe dropped, so to speak. 11 days ago I woke up early to go to a 5k benefit walk with SS21 and DH. Almost immediately after getting out if bed (normally not my strong suit anyway! :P) I was struck with such severe pain I couldn't stand up straight. A hot shower didn't help. I took some medicine and stayed home. I have been hurting at some level or another every day since then. I don't know if my girlie bits KNOW that this is their last chance to make their presence known, but if they do they're sure making the most of the opportunity!