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Friday, April 25, 2014

Uuuuuugggghhh!!!

Why do people feel compelled, when it comes up that I'm childless and having a hysterectomy, to tell me "you can always adopt!" And when I say I can't or I'm too old or whatever they always say something like oh ...sure you can, you're not too old.... You know, I think that from now on, instead of replying at all, I'm just going to say nothing. Not... one... word!!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

My bits have been playing tricks on me!

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been making plans and getting ready for the thing I have fought for so long... a hysterectomy. While I do have some physical chores to do, like cleaning the house and making some meals to freeze, mostly I've been trying to steel myself emotionally for what's ahead. I don't know if that's actually even possible! Oddly, it seemed like my body was playing tricks on me! Let me explain: after nearly a year of thinking, talking, making up my mind, .uuuichanging it and making it again, I went ahead and scheduled the surgery. This was a huge step. Then, as expected, here came my period. What was strange about this time, though, is that it wasn't that bad. There was pain, just not crippling; and almost no pain with nookie! Well, of course you know what happened next: I was FILLED with self-doubt about whether I made the right decision. "This isn't so bad." "Maybe I don't really NEED surgery." "Have I made the wrong decision?" "Maybe the doctors were wrong!" This went on for two months. And then the other shoe dropped, so to speak. 11 days ago I woke up early to go to a 5k benefit walk with SS21 and DH. Almost immediately after getting out if bed (normally not my strong suit anyway! :P) I was struck with such severe pain I couldn't stand up straight. A hot shower didn't help. I took some medicine and stayed home. I have been hurting at some level or another every day since then. I don't know if my girlie bits KNOW that this is their last chance to make their presence known, but if they do they're sure making the most of the opportunity!