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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

It's always something...

Just like Roseanne Rosanadana said, it's always something! I had been feeling a bit off and found out that my gallbladder was not functioning properly. I had it removed on the 28th of last month. I'm doing well, healing and feeling fine! While I was still home recovering, a couple other things happened. I got a reminder for my annual mammogram, which I scheduled. I also started to notice that the occasional spotting and breakthrough bleeding I was experiencing with continueous BCP was becoming more frequent. I called my doctor, who told me to get an abdominal and a transvag. ultrasound. By the time I went for my appointments... I got the whole kit and kaboodle scheduled for Monday morning... I had been bleeding, not heavily but still, for more than a week and was starting to have the familiar pain I have been experiencing with the endo. The tests were not painful, but not really painless... let's call them uncomfortable. Yesterday, I got a call back from my ob/gyn. I was expecting to have them tell me something about the ultrasounds. But no. Instead, they told me that the mammogram showed increased density in the right breast and that I would need to go back for focal compression views and possibly an ultrasound. Lovely. No word yet on the two ultrasounds from Monday. I go back tomorrow morning. Sigh. Good grief!


  1. Just wishing you all the best. It never rains but it pours - so I feel for you right now.

  2. It does seem that you don't get much breaks. I empathize for you... BTW, it is certainly "fun" to have pancakes. I had gone through that recently just two weeks ago (funny, huh?) after they found some calciumfication (I know I misspelled that..)in my left breast. By the time after poking, smashing, patting and picking for an hour, I finally saw the doctor..and she said "mind if I check your breast?" I said, "I DO mind..after several pairs of hands today, I don't want another pair on my boobs!"
    Take care of yourself, and try not to worry about what is going on- really, be mindful for yourself. HUGS

  3. Thank you, both! Well, the mammogram situation turned out to just be cysts. Follow up to be scheduled in 6 months. (Whew!)

    The other situation is a bit more complicated. I was prescribed a new BCP and started it on 3/31. By 4/2 I had a knot on my leg with what looked like a red rash. That weekend, I got the worst migraine I've had in more than 5 years. After calling the doc, I was told that I had a superficial thrombophlebitis and was to stop my BCP immediately. More Dr. appts. and more scans. Nothing looks abnormal "in there" so I have to start thinking about what to do next. My choices boil down to suck it up and deal, Lupron, or surgery... surgery being excision of the endo and removal of the uterus. (double sigh!)

    Had a major breakdown last night talking to DH about the finality of a hysterectomy. Yes, I know I'm too old and tired to keep up with a baby and that even if I could, DH doesn't want to even try. I know logically that I will never have children, but the prospect of a hysterectomy makes it an absolute certainty. It's more than I could bear to think about after all the poking, proding, bleeding, cramping, scanning and probing.

    But what choice do I really have. I'll be 44 in less than 2 months. My marriage has changed because of the broken girlie bits and the pain they cause me. How do I get to a place of absolute acceptance so that I can get my life back, all of it... without fear or anxiety over whether I will be in pain or bleeding or both. I feel so broken and alone.

    Why is it still so hard? How do I do this?