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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Third Sunday in June

This Sunday is "F" day. Now, obviously, I'm not a parent, but my DH is. He adopted his former wife's son. So, he's in the club I will never be part of. And while, generally, "F" day is not as difficult for me as "the day that shall remain nameless," for some reason, it's been on my radar quite a bit this year.  Even though I walk this childless path alone-- that is, not with DH-- there are many men out there who are childless, not by choice, too. They may not have the same kind of biological urge to reproduce that many women describe, but they still suffer. They may get invited to the bbq or card game, but the conversations ultimately go to family and kids, and they are excluded. Passively or actively, non-parents, whether male or female, are cast aside. Often it's not even intentional, but left out we are. So this week, my heart goes out to the guys. All of you who wish you were "daddy," but aren't... for whatever reason. Those who feel that they have to put on a strong front, to deny their feelings, to ignore the pain. You are not alone. <3

4 comments:

  1. It's been on my mind a lot this year too. Stupid commercials are amping up and it's a slap in the face. I can't help but hurt for my husband. Thanks for the blog. It really helps to know I'm not alone.
    AB
    Married 12 yrs/37 yrs old/pcos/TTC (and failing miserably) for 10 years

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  2. Thanks for your comment, AB. You most certainly are not alone. There are far too many of us who have this proverbial cross to bear. But bear it we must, so we may as well be a support to one another. I hope that the weekend is as minimally traumatic for you and your DH as possible!!

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  3. This day is very hard for my husband. He wants a child so badly, as much as I do it seems. Because he is a man and I a woman, of course we grieve being childless in different ways. I have found out recently that we also grieve similarly too- he also feels forgotten and punished. Wondering "why me" or "why them, and not me"- so this day is hard for him, just as Mother's day is for me. I wish I could help his hurt and anger- if only I knew how to make mine go away so I could.

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  4. Almost40, I'm so sorry that you and your husband find yourselves enduring this hurt. It truly is a difficult path to maneuver. It is my hope that, by sharing my experience, I can let others know that they are not alone in their struggle and that there are those of us who really do understand. Luckily, you have each other for support and understanding as you make your way through this reality. My best to you both.

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