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Sunday, May 20, 2012

JMV

I had a great aunt who was childless. I don't know any of the details about why that was the case. Did she try? Did she have miscarriages? Did she have fibroids or endo? Did it sadden her the way is has me? Was it difficult for her to see her sister and brother have children and grandchildren, while she was widowed and didn't have any kids of her own. We all (the great neices and nephews) kind of thought of her as a third grandmother. We celebrated Mother's day with her. She was included in all the family gatherings. But I know that sometime those very same joyful occasions can be difficult because I don't have a child in the mix. I wonder if she was at peace with it all. And if she was, how did she get there? Or was it ever a question of accepting or not... did she just see it as the hand she was dealt. I wish she were still here to ask. But if she does see what I am going though, if she does hear me calling out to her through my tears, I hope she knows I love her and miss her every single day!

4 comments:

  1. That's lovely. My husband has an aunt and uncle who don't have children - she's in her late 70s, so we assume it was infertility rather than lack of choice, but to be honest we've never discussed it with them (because we usually see them when other family members are around). But I've wondered all those questions too.

    And when my selfish parents-in-law don't want to include them in a function, I'll point out that we hope that our nieces and nephews will be kind to us one day and include us in family gatherings (especially on special occasions like Christmas) rather than leave us alone (unless we're on a jaunt overseas somewhere exotic!)

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  2. Thank you Mali! I wish I could ask her all those things, but she passed away just a few months after I got married. But I think about her every day, and miss her wonderful way of doing and saying things. She was a surrogate mom and grandmother to all of us!

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  3. What a great post and because of it, I am going to pick up the phone and call my Great Aunt, who is 95 years young. If you met her, you would think she was in her 60's....hey, maybe that is because she never had the stress of raising children....another positive to not having children (I try and find them when I can :-))

    I have never asked her why she didn't have children, she was married for years. I think that I will try and do that in the near future.

    Thank you for making me think of my Aunt GaGa today.

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  4. Kellie, your post REALLY made me smile! I'm so glad that my blog made you think of your Aunt GaGa! I'd love to hear what she has to say, if you'd like to share!

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