Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Most wonderful time, my foot!
It took some doing, but I think I've made it through the holidays! November and December came with some HORRID physical and emotional pain. Endo is a bitch! It's back to knocking me down for a few of days every month. The laparoscopy back in 2008 had kept it a bay for a while. But it's back with full force. But it not only hurts physically... and it DOES... but the fact that I have to endure such pain and not even get to use the parts associated with it, just adds insult to injury. Then came Christmas. OH THE JOY! (read sarcasm!) Everyone a-bustle, buying gifts for their families. Screaming kids. Proud parents parading their spawn around like little tinsel-covered pets. And the family gatherings. All the other family members snapping photos and shooting video (which will be shared on FB or YouTube)of their children opening gifts and flitting around making a mess of things. While I stand by and watch with tear-filled eyes, green with envy that I don't get to play. And I'll never get to play. I will never know the joy of seeing my child, or even grandchild, wide-eyed at the gifts under the tree; of taking them for pictures with Santa; and, yes, of dressing them up in rediculous Christmas outfits. No school pagents or ornaments made with tiny, clumsy hands. What is touted the "most wonderful time of the year" is the most painful for me and for those like me. But we've managed our way through it again... smeared mascara, puffy eyes and all!