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Sunday, March 6, 2011


My uncle, patriarch of the family, is dead and buried. He was a good man and died too soon, while many who are less deserving, still live. Cruel joke, this life. But many came to pay their respects and it was a testament to the man he was. They were lovely services, if lovely can ever be used to describe a wake and a funeral.

I selfishly looked at it all - kids, grandkids, photos, loved ones weeping over the loss of him - and mourned, not only his passing but, that I would never have any of those things he held so dear. No children or grandchildren to come to my funeral, to visit my grave. No one to inherit the family heirlooms - the things that have little monetary value but great sentimental value to me. No one to remember. I supposed I should offer these things to my cousins, to give to their children, lest they end up in a yard sale... 5 cents for the lot.

It's a lot to take in. Too much...


  1. I lost two aunts, one in 2009 and the other in 2010. The one that passed away in 2009 did not have children, but her sisters, brother, brother in law, sister in law, niece (me), nephew (my brother), grand-niece and nephew, friends were there to bid her farewell and to mourn her loss. She left me some of her things, and a note on an envelop with some money telling me she loves me and to take care of myself. I shared some of the money with poorer relatives overseas and have not touched the rest, but I have traced over her words, cried over them and kissed them, many, many times. She was another mom to me. Noone ever pitied her for being childless... she was a beloved member of the family... nothing less.

  2. I too had a great aunt who was childless. She was like another grandmother and her neices and nephew and grandneices and nephews were there for her in life and in death. Part of my mourning is that I have one nephew... who has estranged himself from the family, so that leaves me without those family members she had around her. I do have those of my husband, and am grateful for that, but it is somehow quite different in that they are not those close family members I wish I did have. Alas, it is the hand I have been dealt and something I will have to learn to deal with in this journey.